There are moments in every season that I learn something new about myself. This season was learning to be patient with myself. My training build up started in December and I was suppose to end my training cycle in May. If anyone knows me, especially my coach, I am one stubborn athlete and a dreamer. I want to pursue all my dreams now that I don't realize that my body can't compete at a high level every single race. There will be races that do not go according to plan but that is all apart of the process of becoming a better runner. At times, I feel myself being paranoid on my dreams that I forget to live in the present. During my training cycle, I found my self disappointed at times when I did not break my personal records which left me thinking about a lot of “what if’s”. While my coach wanted to end my season in May, I fought and convinced him that I cannot just stop. I kept dreaming and wanted to run faster and faster!!!! So I competed, competed and then competed again. Instead of being patient with myself, I found my self feeling off some days, crying on some runs due to feeling fatigue, and day dreaming to the unknown.
I try not to let running define me or the races I do or don't do. That is something that I am learning to do, especially in trusting the Lord that it is okay to have bad races. He repairs me over and over again, and I am reminded this season that disappointments are okay. I am not perfect. I will never be, but I can try to be a better me everyday by being patient with my body and mind.
I spoke to my coach after my last race that just ended in late July (Some images of the race are below). We agreed that I am not patient when it comes to being disappointed at races and looking for more races so I can be satisfied with myself. My coach said, I need to have a race schedule set for the Fall season and my season will end after the California International Marathon, no exceptions. He is absolutely right, I love racing more than ever but I need to understand when my season comes to a closing and it needs to come to an end, unfortunately, so I can train for the next cycle. I am excited to start training for CIM. There is truly a time and mental investment into racing a marathon. When you invest yourself into something you love, it finds a way to make a home in your heart. I am passionate about becoming the best marathoner I can be. Starting a new season and it will be full of new adventures, ups and downs, being more patient and pursing God’s heart for me.
Just a few days ago, my boyfriend told me to pack up because he was taking me on a surprise trip. I asked where and his response was "you'll find out soon". Prior to this trip, our dates has consisted of cafe dates because he is pursing his Doctorate of Chiropractic degree and I'm pursing my Masters in Psychology with an emphasis in applied behavior analysis. So a small mini vacation is what we needed to get a way from always studying. While my boyfriend was driving, I was hoping we would travel to my favorite traveling spot, Big Bear. Driving up the mountain, I was filled with grace and love because I knew we were on our way to OUR SECOND HOME. When we arrived, we went on a 12 miler long run with lots of smiles, laughter and great conversations. This vacation of ours included lots of good food a long with enjoying each others company. I sometimes believe my heart is only filled and full when I am surrounded by those that fuel me. Big Bear is a beautiful place. It is quiet, full of life, peaceful, and beautiful. Big Bear welcomed us back with its 80 degree weather, fresh air, animals that are always entertaining to watch, people watching, and the mountains were quiet and still. A few of the things we did during our trip to big bear included: running, eating good food, lots of chocolate, wine, going to the village, Big Bear zoo, lake, and relaxing. My heart is beating steady and strong. I am filled and I am reminded that life is so great! Enjoying every minute of my beautiful journey.