Individuality

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​Growing up as a twin, I remember we would be each other’s playmates. We were extremely shy, had our own twin language since the age of five, had twin celebrity status and were/are best friends. I would describe our relationship growing up as desperately needing each other to fulfill our weakness and strengths. As a twin, I found myself speaking in unison with my twin. We would finish each other’s sentences and feel a sense of peace whenever my sister was near me. I had a bad stuttering problem since longer than I can remember, and my twin sister was always next to me to help finish my sentences. I would help her take responsibility to act, provide encouragement and motivation. My sister was my safe net and I never felt alone. We were inseparable!
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Twins can relate to one another and both are uniquely different. Many of our differences may cause disagreements. Different values and dreams from one another can bring frustration and anger. This is absolutely okay! It is important to be understanding and accepting towards your twin; after all, we are our own individuals! I realize that a lot of twins (not all twins) have encountered twin separation that can spiral into a “twin divorce”. For example, my twin sister decided she wanted to focus on her own identity this year which meant she wanted to hang out with me less; it felt like a divorce. We were constantly fighting and there was a time where I felt that I lost my sister forever. I must admit, it felt like my other half of my soul was missing. I became depressed and had more anxiety than ever. We had no trust among each other due to our separation. I also want to acknowledge that these feelings of negative disapproval among my sister was fear of losing my sister. Trust me though, all that built up anger I had did subside once I realized that separation was inevitable. It is part of the process, especially in separating with my twin whom I was once inseparable with since we were womb mates. With that being said, we started to run with other people and hang out with different people. I had the conversation with my twin sister on how we can still be close while still maintaining our separate lives. We had the conversation and agreement that we must call each other at least once a week or so, have dates, listen to each other with no judgement and accept what the other sister is doing.

This past week, I attended a camp that was organized by Oiselle. This is an experience that I am incredibly thankful for. I was overwhelmed with excitement, but I was also nervous. I have never traveled alone. This was out of my comfort zone and I did find myself feeling uncomfortable and awkward because I felt something that was a part of me for so long was missing. Whenever I found myself feeling overwhelmed with emotions, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. This helped soothed my mind and to truly be in the moment with my own soul. While being away, I realize that I have a lot of growing to do in knowing who I really am without my sister.

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Twin separation has helped us mature more into our own individuality and helped us to accept each other for who we are. I can honestly say that I admire my sister, she is strong, confident, and bold. We respect each other’s freedom from twin marriage. I want the best for me and my sister, this is where we are now. Being a twin resulted in so many great things in our life. I truly believe that being a twin is the best thing in the world. We will always have a best friend and we are also able to grow older together. Sisterhood for us will never change and I am still learning to live my uniquely individual life.

To be continued...